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I love my smart TV. I love the way it takes a long time to boot up because it's trying to refresh the advertisements on the home screen. I delight in the way it randomly restarts because it's downloaded an update without asking me, each of which makes the TV slower and slower with every subsequent install. I adore the way it buries the apps that I want to use, and that I use without fail every single time, below the apps that it's being paid to promote and which I have never touched in my life and would never use without the cold metal of a glock pressed hard against my sweating temple. I am infinitely thrilled by the way the interface lags constantly, due to the need to have one thousand unnecessary animations rendered on hardware ripped wholesale from a ten year old phone. I feel myself borne aloft on wings of pure joy when I am notified that my data will be collected and analysed to determine my useage patterns. Even now I am writing this from a field of beautiful flowers and soft luscious grass as I lie and look up happily at the bright blue sky, smiling happily to know that this is the future of technology
This entry was edited (1 year ago)
in reply to tomb

lord save me from unsolicited tech advice
in reply to tomb

you should just totally buy what I bought, even though I hate it as much as you hate yours. Recommending it allows me to feel validation in my choices and completes me as a person.
in reply to Michael

@SubElement mike you may have a free pass. some motherfucker just tried to tell me that "glocks are quite notably made of plastic"
in reply to tomb

Did you try standing at the rear of the TV to see if it behaves differently when it doesn't think you are around? 🙂

#UnsolicitedTechAdvice

in reply to tomb

ah, so you hate being mansplained to, and yet you are a man? curious! i am very intelligent
in reply to tomb

The way you knew all this advice was coming is maybe even funnier than the original post and in a way also equally sad.
in reply to cmos4040

@cmos4040 mastodon: where thousands of the rudest nerds alive are standing by to assume you are stupid as hell and don't know what an HDMI port or a media streaming PC is
in reply to tomb

an update on this infuriatingly viral toot which continues to haunt my ass. the smart TV (named herein as a "Sony Bravia") died, got repaired, then died again, within the space of 3 months.

the same thing caused it to die both times: being turned off and unplugged so that I could vacuum behind the TV cabinet. understandably a TV which cannot deal with something as horrendous as "being occasionally turned off" was absolutely stupid, and I successfully yelled at the seller for a refund.

the bad smart TV has been replaced with a very large (42 inch), non-smart, monitor instead which is a fucking dream and simply pipes audio and video out of my media centre without trying to sell me shampoo at the same time. I will never buy a smart TV again as long as I live. have a nice day and please stop boosting this toot

in reply to Joe

@joe it is this one https://www.ple.com.au/Products/643400/philips-438p1-425-uhd-4k-60hz-5ms-ips-w-led-monitor
@Joe
in reply to tomb

PLE! That's where I bought the components for my first machine, a bit over 25 years ago, a P3 800mhz with 4mb of ram and I think a 256mb hdd

Sorry, I just got all of the nostalgia haha

This might be the answer I'm looking for - thank you!

in reply to Joe

@joe they're still cracking along! and easily the best PC parts shop in Perth
@Joe
in reply to tomb

Jesus fuck I just looked at the number of boosts and favourites on that. D:
in reply to VirtualWolf

@virtualwolf it's easy to go viral on the tootnet as long as you are saying something like "modern technology bad... old technology good". unfortunately it is also completely and objectively true to say that modern technology bad while old technology good. so who knows
in reply to tomb

I need to do this. 50% because my old smart TV was starting to do that out of the damn box (also it liked to randomly crash out and reboot every 15-20 minutes if it was streaming 4K, and since not many streaming services have an option like 'my internet sucks shit do not ever stream anything in 4K, 720p is enough for me' it made a couple of platforms almost unusable) and 50% because I bet that monitor is also significantly lighter than a TV, and/or came with a decently sturdy stand so you're not forced to wall-mount it (for reasons largely related to 'I live in a very old house and I don't trust that this would end well').
Unknown parent

tomb
@basisbit no one is stopping you from simply scrolling on by when you see a post, instead of assuming that the person who wrote it is stupid and needs your unsolicited advice :)
in reply to tomb

One of these: https://www.raspberrypi.com/products/raspberry-pi-tv-hat/

On a Pi

With some of this:

https://libreelec.tv/

Fulfills all my (admittedly limited) TV requirements with the occasional adjunct of a budget chromecast dongle so I can watch GCN bikeracing from my phone.

in reply to tomb

a lot of software is written on top of layers of other software by people who do not really understand or care to understand what the CPU or memory is really doing, all to serve features users don't really need.

You would expect with technology getting better computers would get faster but it's not actually the case

felix b. ohmann doesn't like this.

in reply to tomb

yeah, it is insane. in my livingroom there is a sony android tv, a denon reciever and a ps5. each of these wants network, accounts, needs updates and all that stuff. i wish sony would sellco sumer devices with just the panel with one hdmi input, no speakers and no options other than energy saving maybe. just a 4k oled screen with no options. all of them sell public signage displays, which are basically that, but at 3x the price. meh.
in reply to tomb

Is it even possible to buy a dumb TV anymore? I have a dumb 4K TV that I am gentle on so I don't have to replace it with a slow-ass advertising monster.
in reply to tomb

yeah, I've used a few brands of SmartTV over the years, and the Samsung one seems to be the shittiest.

My favourite is my FirefoxOS based Panasonic. The OS is so simple and basic, but it's very quick to achieve what you want because of it, and there are only 3 small advert boxes that are non intrusive and easy to ignore.

in reply to tomb

Exactly why I'm reading this toot on a 40" display from 2006 that I found on the street next to a trash bin.

Took a bit of work to dig up firmware and service menu info, then update to allow native 1080p60 on the HDMI, but AVSForum came through again.

in reply to tomb

that's just capitalism doing what it does, making everything trend towards increasing mediocrity in the hope of wringing more money out of people. Bugger UX, gotta get as many eyeballs on these apps as possible even if 99% of the people will never use them.
in reply to tomb

I lobotomized all my TVs by granting them isolated IP addresses and then denying them Internet access. AppleTV is worth the extra money to maintain some remnant of privacy.
in reply to tomb

…and *this* is why we hope our 2010 LG 42” “dumb screen” (with a Chromecast plugged in) will keep working for the indefinite future 🙏🏻
in reply to tomb

The best part, for me, was moving to a new country with my TVs, and now having many apps that don't work in the new location, but no access to the apps from the new country (because the TV thinks it's still in the old place).
Lose-lose!
in reply to tomb

The song of my people.

I especially love how, for those of us who eschew Smart "anything" for all of the "benefits" you itemize, it is increasingly harder to find Dumb appliances and electronics anymore.

I drive my TV from a computer thanks. I just want a really big really crisp screen with 3-4 HDMI inputs and color, contrast and brightness controls, is that so much to ask? Apparently so.

in reply to tomb

Mine isn't even conected to the network and never updated it since i got it. Its still slow, hides the options i want and refuses to show me the hdmi signal
in reply to tomb

I love about smart TVs that they scream for a nerd like me who uses adb to send the android tv bloatware back to the hell it came from.
in reply to tomb

I had been warned, but not with such specificity. Thanks!
in reply to tomb

“how can we make TVs worse?”
- every company
in reply to tomb

When I have the choice, I find it almost always easier to use a phone, tablet or even my laptop to AirPlay to my TV than the streaming box. And both are easier than the smart TV I use the rest of the time.
in reply to tomb

didn't tried this FREE TV yet?
https://www.theverge.com/2023/5/15/23721674/telly-free-tv-streaming-ilya-pozin-ads

On my side, I gave my TV in 2005 and never had one anymore since this time
I feel really better without than with :ablobcatattentionreverse:

in reply to tomb

I miss having this pleasure with my tv. Perhaps it’s because the company that made it (Olevia) went out of business & the PTB lack access to the needed APIs?
in reply to tomb

I also love how occasionally it decides it knows better than me and changes all my settings as well as the names of my inputs. Just the best, thank you so much.
in reply to tomb

Mmm, how do you spell fascinating (I mean facetious)? Thank you for the accurate descriptions. So relatable!
in reply to tomb

you love it because it's discouraged you watching TV and you've gone walking in flower fields instead?
in reply to tomb

Bravo. Hope you don‘t mind if I steal your „wings of joy“ for future GDPR Info request e-Mails to deserving companies?
Unknown parent

tomb
@adhdmarie I have muted about 100 people including one person who tried to tell me a glock is actually made of plastic. fucking honestly
in reply to tomb

It sucks that the options for "Dumb" TVs today are junk tiny screens that are budget-priced for a reason or commercial-grade stuff that isn't horribly priced, but meant for digital signage, so stuff like gaming or any fast-motion content is not going to be great viewing quality. I'd love to know if there are any good options out there in this field, but reviews are few and far between it seems.
in reply to tomb

This is an extremely accurate approach of the truth.
in reply to tomb

I love that I have never let my TV connect to the internet.
in reply to tomb

@FreakyFwoof I love smart TVs especially the ones with a screen reader. It let me explore the program for the first time without looking at the program schedule on the internet. It let me change TV settings without asking someone to help.
in reply to tomb

this is so wonderfully written. I will save this post as the benchmark of how you can write prose where every sentence is dripping with pure sarcasm!! Well done.

As for Smart TV software, for think the manufacturers of TVs should just give up trying. There are already at least 2 ecosystems that are leaps and bounds better: Roku and Android TV. Just plug one of them into your TV and forget it was ever "Smart".

in reply to tomb

Same advice should be given to the automotive infotainment makers. Just implement Android Auto and Car play and use the RnD dollars to make more efficient cars.
in reply to tomb

Former Geek Squad cadet here. The options for TV’s are all terrible, but I’ve been slowly taking control of my LG, FireTV, and Samsung using #homeassistant. When it’s you in control, it’s actually very useful to have a computer in your TV, but going the Home Assistant route is a huge, time consuming project. You can, however, easily make time for it by doing what I did: getting fired from Geek Squad.
in reply to tomb

you said that you don’t like unsolicited tech advice, so I ask myself why I am writing this 😃

I gave away our expensive Smart TV and bought a cheap dumb TV at a discount store for $180 that is only 1080. It has rabbit ears antenna and one HDMI interface, that is it. I plug an Apple TV into the HDMI and I am super happy, even with the poor video quality. We all need to find our own path to happiness 😎

in reply to tomb

I have yet to purchase one of these.

Please inform me of the brand, so that I may share in your joy

in reply to tomb

enshitification will set us all free, I got tired of paying for 900 channels of shit with ads constantly playing, I got tired of app ads, ads are almost definitely coming to subscription providers like Disney plus and Netflix, it's already all over prime, the more they try to push shit I to us the more they will force us to leave, I have no subscriptions, no TV licence & no bills to pay for entertainment, because you do don't have to, do something else...
in reply to tomb

I’m gonna bookmark this for the next time someone side-eyes me for spending money on some sort of streamer hardware product “when that stuff all comes in the tv already now.”
in reply to tomb

re: Glock - don’t give the manufacturer’s any ideas.
in reply to tomb

Samsung Q7? Mine just blinks relentlessly until it’s had a good half hour to find it’s feet. Open a window, you’re back to square one. Literally that affects it. Long past time for a class action there.
in reply to tomb

don’t give your tv WiFi. At least not until it’s finished it’s homework and cleaned up its room.
in reply to tomb

I used a tube TV, from about 25 years ago, until last year; then I unplugged it. Wasn't used anymore.

Doubtful if I will ever need to buy a new TV: too much news and entertainment on the mobile phone anyway.

in reply to tomb

If only TVs were not only smart, but had MY interests at heart.
in reply to tomb

and I still can't even fulfill the capitalist fantasy of buying a sweater I like on a TV show.
in reply to tomb

I never plugged mine in to the internet. I just plugged everything I had in my older, non-smart TV and went. Have enough with ads on some of the Shield's apps.
in reply to tomb

god this is so relatable

i want all my technology to be dumb now, i dont need any of the fancy stuff if this is the price

in reply to tomb

I block all “smart” tvs from my home network. There’s nothing that benefits me from a tv with net access
in reply to tomb

ok the fact that you are staring at the sky instead of your tv makes me doubt your sincerity
in reply to tomb

You forgot the thing you were watching suddenly vanishing because the app decided to update and therefore closed itself. (Yes I've actually experienced this one :-( )
in reply to tomb

🥥 Timb, yours is one of the best posts I've read since getting on the #Fediverse in April 2023. In fact, it's the kind of toot I came here for.
For those seeking alternatives, here in the United Snakes, Walmart, of all places, sells a streaming device under their Onn brand. Perhaps available online,.
For guidance on how to use it to its fullest extent, visit this site: troypoint dot com. 🥥
in reply to tomb

Many years ago when I did internet tech support for a pretty large ISP (which had a central homepage, mail, news etc just like yahoo.com), I remember a customer calling in to complain. They said they wanted to get to their email so I told them to load up the main page and that the link to mail was at the top right. And that got them started. Realized that their problem was that the contents of the page just changed all the time. Mail link used to be at the top left and then it went to the top right. There were different current news items all the time. It was simply the page entropy that mega-triggered them. In the end they just told me, “Why can’t you guys just not change your page??” I told them that this was simply the nature of the internet and all pages are subject to change. Bottom line, I think smart TVs are not for you. Either get a streaming stick like an 4K Onn Box or Firestick and use that, or else simply get something that is a TV and nothing else.
in reply to tomb

Ah, a gentle reminder that you should never ever hook up a “Smart” TV to the internet. Or, come to think of it, a network of any kind.
in reply to tomb

this is exactly what I have been complaining about for the past three years! I mean come on! you claim the tv's have 8GB of storage, but nevermind the fact that we only get access to 4.2GB and that is if we are lucky! why oh why don't smart tv's come with no less than at least 64GB or even 128GB. ok, what about the ram, most tv's only have between 1.5GB, and 2GB of ram. again, this is just down right crazy! tv's should haave no less than 6GB of ram. we won't even discuss the processors in tv's. I mean my cheapest cellphone that I own right now is a Nokia X100 which costs $252.00, and even it came with 128GB of storage, , and 6GB of ram, and I bet the processor is better in it than a smart tv.
in reply to tomb

Is it a voice activated one? Because if so, you can probably add to that list that it's listening in on your conversations as well
in reply to tomb

The rise of FOSS will get only bigger as people realize they’re being used for their data by big tech.
in reply to tomb

Worst part is you can't hardly find a new dumb tv. Everything has crappy roku, even the stupid overpriced 720p walmart TVs.
in reply to tomb

sei ohne Sorge, sei ohne Sorge ...
http://www.planetlyrik.de/lyrikkalender/ingeborg-bachmanns-gedicht-reklame/
in reply to tomb

I disconnected my smart TV from the network, and use an nVidia Shield to stream. I did this after the whole scandal about the TV mic being on all the time, feeding audio to the manufacturer's servers.
in reply to tomb

sounds like a serious relationship 😉
in reply to tomb

Don't know which smart TV you have. So far, mine stays out of my way possibly because we have cut the cable/satellite and rely on streaming. It does over one tremendous electricity/environmental benefit. If I have a light on in the room it will charge the remote through a "solar" panel on the back. The manufacturer makes a selling point of this being environmentally friendly. The remote also takes a Type C cell charger.
in reply to tomb

you've inspired me to go check the pi-hole logs for our Sony "smart" TV.
in reply to tomb

Does your TV have a slutty sister? She can break my heart after the holidays 😍
in reply to tomb

We got a newer, "better" smart TV to replace our older one that used a Roku USB device. I really miss our dumb TV, had no idea how much of a nightmare smart TVs are.
in reply to tomb

On the topic of adverts and tracking, I just installed a Pi-Hole at hole today: https://pi-hole.net/
Blocking lots of advertising domains already...
in reply to tomb

Buy a large computer monitor. Watch all your streaming through a laptop connected to it. Have a bluetooth keyboard/trackpad as your remote.

Get an Over-the-Air antenna and a digitizer box so that the laptop can watch local TV. Drop your cable/sat.

http://brander.ca/cordcutcuug/

BTW, I actually found a 65" OLED TV that does none of that, at least if I fire it up listening to HDMI1 that is a computer. Maybe it realizes it's been relegated to "monitor" and accepted the situation.

in reply to tomb

Hey I saw you like smart tvs, you'd also be interested in new cars!
in reply to tomb

You have my sympathy, but the prose was beautiful. I started hearing 'America the Beautiful' playing in your head as I read it.

I suppose this is why they say an artist must suffer.

in reply to tomb

@lisamelton I don’t have a smart TV. Appreciate you detailing their #enshittification so I know I'll never have a smart TV.
in reply to tomb

Although I don't have a "smart" TV I do have Amazon's Fire TV Cube with Alexa. It was a gift from my mom (which is why I feel compelled to use it!)

It does all of the ridiculous things you mention. I am constantly frustrated by it.

And I'm constantly surprised that Amazon is seemingly getting away with this disingenuous behavior.

When Amazon offered a Fire Tablet with ads they clearly disclosed the ads and provided a discount if you were willing to put up with ads.

Amazon's forced-ads in their Fire TV Cubes seems to be very deceptive anti-consumer behavior.

(And my mom knows not to get me anything like this in the future without checking with me first!)

#FTC

#ftc
in reply to tomb

my Smart tv became dumb. Long time ago. It’s homescreen and all the BS controls and data-gathering superceded by other, slicker devices and services which are all on their own respective enshittification paths…
in reply to tomb

it's sad, really.
Also it's been a long time since I didn't shop for a TV. Are Smart TV all you can find nowadays with a nice image and long lifespan?
in reply to tomb

but people do love paying 300-500 for that TV instead of 1k for sure.
in reply to tomb

@alexhall You’ll really love it when in 5 years, you’ll begin to get pop up messages explaining that the TV’s OS will no longer be supported by the manufacturer. While prompting you to upgrade to their newest super duper ultra HD model. Because buying a new TV every 6 or so years is totally normal and fun… dear valued customer…
in reply to tomb

linux + monitor + tuner = resolved.

and it's the same price -- or less.

in reply to tomb

My "smart TV" will *never* get my WiFi password.
in reply to tomb

#cutthecord! Haven't had cable/TV since 2001... take charge of your entertainment 👍
in reply to tomb

Same, but I've dug deep deep deep into the menus and now have VLC and SmartTube ( https://smarttubeapp.github.io/ ) installed as my default first row apps. SmartTube is really excellent, 1,000% better than the Youtube ad-infested default app.

And I've deleted everything else I can. It's not perfect, but a lot better than the rubbish it was stuffed up with. I also managed to install the Criterion app - that's the only streaming service we can be bothered to use. It does take a bit of fiddling; as a UX professional I can testify that those menus are not designed to be user-friendly; they're designed, I believe, to be a disincentive to users modifying the default UI.

#Androidtv #SmartTV #tech #ux #DarkPatterns

in reply to tomb

There is an advantage to being tech adverse. I have smart TV but I have no TV signal, all I have is a connection to my DVD player. So far the thing works OK.
in reply to tomb

It is impossible to search effectively, but there are dumb tvs, amd a class of giant monitors, and commercial displays, even commercial displays without network hardware, just graphic input. Then build your own box with linux and etc etc etc etc. More people buying dumb tvs the better.

Oh and microphones which would be fine cause there is no police state. Where you live.

in reply to tomb

99% of smart TVs are pure garbage. You're way better off to get a streaming device like Apple TV, Google TV, Roku. The experience will be 1000% better
in reply to tomb

I’m all in for the dumb TV revolution. Give me cutting edge picture and sound, without a single app, and you can have my money. I can plug in my own input devices.
in reply to tomb

I love how my Smart TV apps freak out, and either lock up solid, or restart the app completely, when they fail to communicate with an advertising or user tracking server, because the TV can only communicate to the internet thru Pi-Hole.

There's nothing better than paying for a streaming service that's almost unusable because it crashes 3 times everytime you start it because it can't talk to Big Brother to resell your data to someone else.

in reply to tomb

I wonder, is the tv you bought the product that generates revenue to the company... or are you the product that generates revenue. And if you are the product, why did you have to pay for the tv in the first place?
@vaurora
in reply to tomb

Thank you. Love your text. I can really feel your emotions.
Unfortunately I cannot reproduce them anymore. Last week our daughter moved out and we gave her the TV for her new flat.

I am not as good with words as you, but you should try this elevating feeling of no TV. Alone the possibilities of redecorating the room are mind boggling.

in reply to tomb

you can take it off line and connect it to an antenna and stream from your phone or computer to it.
in reply to tomb

I never gave my smart tv network.
Id like to have a dumb display but they are a lot more expensive
in reply to tomb

This is art, I will read it by candlelight to my smart TV this evening as I slowly reach behind to unplug its ethernet cable. Ssshh little one, it will be over soon.
in reply to tomb

Modern digital life has become a Sisyphean fight with algorithms and bugs in products. And the developers keeps chasing the next cool feature instead of understanding their users. Companies and stakeholders wants maximized (short term) profits.
in reply to tomb

I will never, ever, ever buy a TV again that has Google TV or Android TV as its operating system. It's a fuming pile of crap. I have to reboot my TV a few times a month, and sometimes even pull the plug to make it function like normal again.

*sighs*

in reply to tomb

@rticks We got a Roku to bypass all the "smartness."
in reply to tomb

These are all great reasons why my next unit will be a projector instead. I can use my old laptop to provide whatever video I want to watch without the prying eyes.

Also, I've seen some limited info that projectors are easier on the eyes because the light is reflecting from the screen instead of going straight from the light source to the eyes.

in reply to tomb

Does it have an HDMI port? Plug in a computer
in reply to tomb

All true, I enjoy that I don't have to worry about it tracking my viewing habits, since I don't have a way to opt-out! :)
in reply to tomb

Great post, but I first found it here as a screenshot:
https://lemmy.world/post/4854391
I'm a bit sad not everything between #Mastodon and Lemmy or #Kbin communicates well yet.
in reply to tomb

consider denying your TV access to the internet + a factory reset.

If you miss any functionality it had before just plug in a personal computer and have it do those things in a semicontrolled computational environment.

in reply to tomb

So nice to just only have a big monitor connectes to the Linux based Satellite PVR...
in reply to tomb

I just want you to know your post inspired me to install a new launcher on my tv from the play store and my life is better for it.

No more ads, faster boots, and I can even hide all the default apps I don't use.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=me.efesser.flauncher

in reply to tomb

This is why I rely on my PS4 for streaming purposes and wouldn't buy a smart TV

It's not perfect, but it consistently prioritises the services I actually use, it's going to have a decent selection of platforms for the foreseeable future, and it maintains a decent UI experience for the lifetime of the console.

in reply to tomb

"I want my dumb TV", as Dire Straits almost sang.
in reply to tomb

Isn't there any kind of open operating system that can be run on smart tvs? If there would be a good one I would definitely use it and might even donate some money to it.
in reply to tomb

hey, are you looking for tech advice about this?
in reply to vegan gamer

@gokunaruto hey man thanks for the question. real quick before I answer can you put your dick in this car door
in reply to tomb

You made the elementary mistake of connecting the 'smart' tv to your wifi. ;)